You may question why I’m leaving Ohio so soon. You may think I’m running away, or have fallen out of love with the place, or don’t care about the people. In reality, I’ve been feeling incomplete. It’s not because of the pain from cancer or fear of death. It’s not the limp in my step or the side effects of the drugs they’re pumping into my body. It’s because I want my life back. I want to run away to the mountains and forget my biggest worry because my biggest worry is the one I need to escape the most. I want to pitch a tent on a mountain and sit and soak in the views that I’ve only seen in photos. I want my body to feel really good again. Right now the only way to feel really good is by doing things that literally take my breathe away.
I don’t want your sympathy for my diagnosis. It has helped me find myself. I do greatly appreciate your prayers; they have given me my strength to be myself. I just want you to understand that I don’t want to leave you but I need to leave this place. This place is where I started, not where I end.
I love all of you so much and it hurts to leave but I won’t find myself if I stay comfortable. I will find my truth when I let myself run wild. I will find the strength to survive, I promise. I also promise to live a happy, magnificent life. You are always welcome to visit and I will show you my way. I will show you what takes my breath away and hope that it does the same for yours.
For now all I have is love. Love for you. Love for this place we call home. Love for the opportunity to see life through my eyes. Love is all we need if only we can uncover the meaning.
So don’t be scared or sad. Don’t worry about where my journey begins or ends. Worry about your health. Your mental state. Your happiness. Your definition of love. Worry about how complete you feel your life would be if your time was up now. Did you do the things you really wanted to do? Did you get to love a person or a place that left you in total and complete awe? Because what is important is the love that you found in your heart and your recognition of those things in life that make your heart skip a beat.
So here I go, off on my next adventure. But I love you all the same. I will miss you every day. I will see people and things that remind me of each and every one of you. And if we are lucky enough we will reunite in a magical place on Mother Earth that we never expected. That’s what life is all about – finding love in people and places you never expected. I invite you to explore your world like I have had the opportunity to do mine.
And if all you see is darkness, open your heart, and let it guide you to something a bit brighter and lighter.
As always, with lots of love,