I wanted to share a quick reminder to stay positive. Positive thoughts spread as energy that directly affects those around you. Positivity not only helps direct you to a place of tolerance but also a place of clear minded debate. A debate with yourself that allows you to come out the victor.
My struggle has been the constant conflicting recommendations I have been receiving from some highly recommended medical oncologists. It is confusing. It is scary. Umm, what happens if I make the wrong decision? Will I get another chance? Do I get a third try? No one knows.
So far three doctors have said no to chemo for my situation while two doctors have strongly recommended chemo as being the only option.
As I sit on an airplane headed back to Denver from a 24hr Cleveland trip solely to go to THE Cleveland Clinic, I wonder what the hell I’m supposed to do. In the past two hours I have listened to some Bone Thugs, got some reading in of Quantum Healing (GREAT book for my life right now), read some chemo side effects a doctor printed for me, reviewed some grant applications, and struggled to comprehend it all. I sit here, a 28 year old, who wants to plan adventures and buy music festival tickets but I am not sure if I can because I don’t know if I’ll be well enough to do these things in a few months. I was getting overwhelmed and I stopped to breathe. To journal my thoughts.
The outcome of this pause is to stop worrying. To stop flooding my mind with information on my condition. I’m not getting anywhere from doing so today so I’m done. I decide to cleanse the palette and start over. To say I WILL find a way to adventure and go to music festivals instead of repeating that I can’t. I CAN and I WILL.
Instead I will write vows, plan out the upcoming stops on my bucket list, look out the window and take in the beautiful Mother Earth that I am so grateful to be flying over. I see the terrain becoming more rugged and I know what is next. The mountains have my heart and I am headed right back to those babies. My dad is on this flight and my step-mom already landed. I am alive. Right now is all that I have for sure and I must work to produce thoughts that encourage positivity. Energy follows thought and that is all I need to know for now.
When you find yourself worrying, train your mind to stop. Practice to turn the worrisome thought around to something that can be productive and more positive. Spread positivity and stay inspired for life is a mess and without these two things there really is no point.
Stay positive. Be inspiration.